A day in Kumagoro's life
by SexyRyu28
Summary: Have you ever wondered what Kumagoro is thinking or what's it like to be owned by Ryuichi? Read and find out.


**Disclaimer:** I own two bags of chocolate, my snapple, and a bowl of candy. I do not own Gravitation.

**A/N: **Now before any of the Ryuichi lovers start yelling at me know one thing, Ryuichi is my favorite character. This fic is written from Kumagoro's POV so put yourselves in his paws. Hope you like it and Happy Holidays.

--

You might think that I live like a superstar but no one knows my ordeal. No one can imagine the mental distress that I go through every single day. You will never know until you walk a day on my fluffy paws.

My name is Kumagoro, and this is my story.

**Morning**

**8:30 am**

The usual wailing of the person that, to my dismay, owns me shattered the beautiful morning silence. Ryuichi Sakuma, singer, idol, total retard.

As I'm spun around, squeezed, thrown in the air and squeezed one more time, someone knocks on the front door. I'm perched atop the idiot's head, where I hang on for dear life, as he runs through the house making his way to the door.

I now understand the term "morning sickness".

The lunatic opens the door, "Good morning Ryu."

Great, it's the lunatic's friend, the one with the creepy smile.

"Good moooorning Toh-chan!" it is at times like this that I wish I didn't had such long ears

"You need to get ready Ryu," says the creepy one.

"Okay, Kuma and I will be ready soon."

He enters the bathroom dragging me along, and as he brushes his teeth he hums a song that I learned to abhor. He finishes his task and looks at me. I already know what's coming but that doesn't make it any less disturbing.

"Now your turn Kuma." the nutty singer places a toothbrush on my mouth. Honestly, when is he going to realize that I don't have any teeth? The-stupid-idiot-that-I've-learned-to-live-with starts brushing while singing that ridiculous song.

"This is the way we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, brush our teeth, this is the way we brush our teeth early in the morning." he keeps repeating the infernal verse over and over again, until my "teeth" are clean.

"Now we're all minty," he says while breathing on my pink face.

He proceeds to the kitchen, where the creepy person looks even creepier wearing an apron and holding a spatula.

"Are you making pancakes Toh-chan?" psycho singer asks.

"Yes," creepy blonde answers, serving a high stack of pancakes, "Eat up while there hot."

I watch as the idiot pours an exaggerated amount of a gooey substance on the seemingly unhealthy meal. I swear if I could gag I would've.

After Ryu eats about half of the things they call 'pankcakes', he starts to look queasy. "I'm stuffed," dammit he's eyeballing me, "now for your breakfast!" now I find myself wearing a bib while having a bottle shoved in my face. How humiliating.

I see that creepy guy trying not to laugh. "Time to go to work Ryu."

"Okay."

We ride in a limo to where both of my tormentors work; my right ear being nibbled the whole time.

**10:45 am**

We arrived at the gates of hell; my right ear hangs down due to the excessive amount of saliva on it. Disgusting.

"Sakuma-san!" oh no! It's the other idiot.

"Shu-chan!" now my idiot yells.

I'm helplessly caught in the middle of the two brainless organisms colliding with each other. I'm glad I don't have lungs, otherwise I would have suffocated to death. Wait a minute, I wish I had lungs, suffocating to death doesn't sound so bad.

"Shu-chan," here we go with the I'm-not-crazy-act, boring, "it's Ryu-I-chi"

"I'm sorry, Ryuichi." will someone please hose them down with cold water.

He's eyeballing me again; "I'll forgive you if you give Kumagoro a good morning kiss."

Shit, he's actually going to kiss me, now is the moment to have teeth, so I can sink them in that pink-haired fool's nose.

...Ewwww!

"I gotta go Shuichi, Toh-chan is calling me."

**11:00 am**

After some spinning, squealing, squeezing, and more spinning, the idiot has decided to have a conversation about colors with me. "Why do you think the sky is blue Kuma-chan?" he asks me. Do I look like I care?

"And why does it turn gray when it's going to rain?" if I was able to have headaches I'll probably be having one right now.

It feels as if he's been talking for ages even though it's only been a few minutes. He's finally quiet, it's his time to sing; I'll get to enjoy a few minutes of peace.

Maybe I can take a nap before we go for lunch.

I hear him, he's singing. One thing I can't deny, the fool has a beautiful voice, a beautiful voice indeed.

--

**Afternoon**

**1:15 pm**

The fool has decided to go for lunch, which is the only time of the whole day I actually enjoy. I get to just sit and look out the window; thankfully he doesn't talk when he's eating. I watch the cars go by, the people walking up and down the sidewalk, and the buffoon stuffing his face with something that I do not dare to call food.

**1:40 pm**

I'm back on top of this moron's head, trying not to fall as he pretends to be an airplane.

Somehow we end up at the park, where a little girl keeps staring at me, how embarrassing.

I hear gunshots, the imbecile shrieks and starts running, a futile attempt to escape from the foreigner chasing after him. I hit the ground and that makes the idiot scream even more.

Both men now run towards me, trying to beat each other at picking me up. Hurray, the American grabbed me first, my owner releases from his being a deafening screech, and starts crying as the blonde points his gun to my head.

"Ryuichi, you're supposed to be at NG, remember?" I hear a click, I pray for the madman to pull the trigger, to put me out of my misery.

"Noooo, please K, don't kill him!"

Yes, kill me, please point it right here, blow my stuffing out, return some dignity to me.

"I-I-I'll do anything you say, please don't do it!"

Do it, shoot me.

"Start walking and don't make a scene, I'll release the hostage when we get inside the building."

"Okay, but please, don't hurt him. Don't be afraid Kuma, everything's going to be aright."

Who says I'm afraid? I much rather be with the trigger-happy American.

**2:00 pm**

I'm here, inside the devil's building, sitting in a corner. I've been taken hostage by a tall, blonde, deranged person. For reasons that I have yet to comprehend I have duct tape covering my mouth and my fuzzy hands are tied behind my back with a shoe lace.

My moron started singing as soon as we returned to the building, he cried all the way back and I wished once more to be shot right between my floppy ears.

**4:00 pm**

My owner's idiotic friend has returned, and after seeing me in such an appalling situation, he too started crying. I was granted my freedom after two hours of non-stop singing by my fool, and he was granted a short break.

"Kumagoro, my baby!" said the fool before while squeezing me. "Oh I'm so glad you're safe!"

I'll trade you for the gas chamber in a heartbeat. Damn I forgot, I don't breathe.

"Ryuichi, I brought you a present." said fool number two with a blush forming on his face.

"For me Shu-chan?"

"Well y-yes and n-no." Urgh, he's getting redder by the second.

"I don't understand Shu-chan." like hell you don't. Honestly when has he ever understood anything that's not drawn in bright colors.

"Open it."

My idiot releases one of his high pitched squeals, the other idiot quickly follows, forming the duo known as - drums please - Moronic Aftermath.

After my unhinged owner opens up a pink box he squeals once again, this time he turns to look at me, what ever was in that box I know I'm going to hate it.

"Look Kuma-chan, Uncle Shu bought you a cute little outfit!"

"I also got the accessories to go with it."

If there's a god up there somewhere, please, have pity on my soul. Okay I don't have one, but who's keeping track of that miniscule detail? Just use your divine power on me.

"Aww, it's a teeny weenie orange sweater, and look Kuma it has a picture of Shu-chan and me."

Are you listening to him? Aren't you suppose to look out for your fateful followers? All right I've never been to church -- not my fault he's a non-believer.

"I also got you matching ribbons for his ears, one has Bad Luck's initials the other has Nittle Grasper's!"

You're ignoring me, aren't you? You must be having lots of fun at the expense of my pink fur, why wouldn't you when I know I'll be wearing those hideous clothes like in two minutes. Are those…?

"Awww, white platform boots."

Please, help me.

**5:00 pm**

"What the hell are you doing brat?"

Now the conceited, drunk bastard enters the room where I have been tormented and scarred for the rest of my horrendous life.

"Yuki!"

The pink haired fool excitedly squeals as his man-whore looks at me with a mocking expression -- damn him.

"So Sakuma, what did the bunny did to upset you? Did he pee on your head?"

That does it, I'm officially pissed. Not only have I been submitted to humiliation, now I'm the butt of this idiot impertinent boyfriend's jokes.

**5:50 pm**

I'm finally home with this... this person. No respect I tell you, I have been dressed, undressed, brushed, fed, and even forced to impersonate the devil himself -- Tohma Seguchi (that name alone leaves a sour taste in my mouth, that is if I had any taste buds) -- and all for the entertainment of two clinically insane people.

Ahhh, I've been left in peace, Ryuichi left to answer the phone.

"'Hello," he answers, "Toh-chan... Aha... What time...? okay... - aha... - I know... - is Shu going to be there...? great! - bye-bye."

Oh no, he's coming.

"Guess what Kuma...?"

Let me guess, I'm up for adoption.

"We're gonna par-ty."

No, _you're_ going to party,_ I'm _going to suffer.

"And Shu is going to be there. I know you miss him already."

Is he listening to himself? Why the hell would I miss that nutcase? Doesn't he realize that I can't handle two idiots?

"We better get ready. We have to be there at 8:00 pm"

Great.

--

**Evening**

**6:35 pm**

My wonderful idiot decided to give me a last minute bath, as of now my pink fur is being dried with two hair driers, simultaneously, at the highest temperatures possible. If that is not painful enough, he's pretending to be the Terminator. I know what you're thinking, and yes I'm Sarah Connor.

**7:09 pm**

I'm finally dry, fluffy and full of static. I could probably generate enough electricity to power the refrigerator.

**7:15**

The door bell rings and I hear an all too familiar screech getting closer as a blur resembling a human wearing only a towel rushes to the door.

"Waaaahhhhh, Tooooohmaaaaaa…"

Correction: half human, half banshee.

"What is the emergency, Ryuichi?"

Enter Tohma Seguchi, hell's musical department chief and vice president of the soul taxation association.

"I don't have anything to weeear. NOTHING!"

"Didn't you go shopping three days ago?"

"DUH! That's the problem! Everything I have is _so_ three days ago."

Wow! 'The Prince of darkness-and-feathery-clothes' right eye is twitching. He might be human after all.

"Let's go upstairs and find you something or we are going to be late."

"Yayyy, Toh-chan."

Oh my god.

"uhm, Ryu…"

"What?"

What do you mean by, what?

"Your towel,"

I know that look.

"C'mon Tohma, it's not like you haven't seen me naked before."

"I have, but if you keep tempting me…mmm…we _are_ going to be late."

Gag factor.

"If we hurry…ahh…we won't be _that_ late."

Not listening.

"You are soo…ngh…bad."

LALALALALALALALA!

**7:53 pm**

"We're almost there Ryu."

"Weeeee, Kuma-chan, party, party."

It's going to be a long night…

"Now Ryuichi, promise me you'll be good."

"I'll be good if you promise to be very naughty."

…and a long ride.

**8:09 pm**

"We're late,"

Then, can we go back home?

"No Tohma, we're rock stars so that means we're_ fashionably _late."

Let the torture begin.

**9:45 pm**

I've been here for almost two hours and not one person has had the decency of acknowledging me, not one.

You would think that been dragged everywhere on a daily basis by a moron would get people to notice me, but nooo, _he's_ the idol. They don't even know my name. They call me 'Kumanagi' or 'Kimikaro'. It's 'Kumagoro' damn it! I'm Kumagoro Sakuma.

I want to go home.

"What's wrong Kuma-chan, you're not having fun?"

Like you care.

"Of course I care."

Wait, how do you-?

"You're my best friend na-no-da."

I'm your…

"If you're not happy, then I'm not happy, no no no, not happy at all."

Oh Ryuichi.

"Let's go get Tohma and go home, no-da."

**10:38 pm**

"Now Kumagoro, you stay here and sleep, okay."

I guess he's alright.

"I love you Kuma-chan."

Ah, it's so good to be home. He might be a fool but a loveable fool.

"Tohmaaa, I need help."

"Ryuichi, what did you do?"

"I got strawberry jam on me, now I'm all _dirty_, can you help me get nice and clean?"

Oh no they're not…

"You are such a messy boy."

Not listening!

"Mmmm, Tohma, I think the jam is rolling further…ahhn."

LALALALALALALALA!

--

So how was it? If you read it don't forget to review it.


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